While I was away this past week at the Rural Ministries Summit I did a lot of thinking about this whole infertility issue. I have realised that I have never gone to the Bible for the answer. And as I sat in the conference, pretending to listen (shh... don't tell!) I thought to myself "If you want answers why don't you go to the one place that can give them to you." So I did. There isn't a whole lot of passages in the Bible that deal with infertility, but I did find a few that I found to be very comforting. Let me share them with you.
1. "Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. And because the Lord had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. Elkanah her husband would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?"
"Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on a chair by the door post of the Lord's temple. In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord. And she made a vow, saying, "O Lord Almighty, If you will only look upon your servants misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."
As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, "How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine."
"Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief."
Eli answered, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." She said, "May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the LORD and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him."
Do you see what Hannah went through? Years of not having children, having to be tormented by a society that looked upon "barren" women like they were diseased. And what did she do? She prayed! And not just a "Please dear Lord, please give me a child"... NO! She prayed with everything inside of her. She "wept much" and poured out her soul to the Lord. And then she goes home believing that God will answer. And He does!! I don't think I have prayed like that, and I don't think I have had faith like that.
2. "Praise the LORD. Praise, O servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD. Let the name of the LORD be praised, both now and forevermore.
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the LORD is to be praised. The LORD is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens. Who is like the LORD our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD."
Wouldn't that be considered a promise from the Bible? That if we praise him, truly praise him (which is key) he will provide Children to those who long for them?
3. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."
This is why I am going through all of this. So that I can pass along comfort to those who are going through similar situations. If we know the comfort of Christ, we can pass along that comfort to others. If I can help just one person in this world get through the difficulty of infertility, if I can use my story to bring the love of Christ to someone, then all of this is worth it.
4. This week there was also a song that came up twice, once at Steve and Christina's church in Ottawa, and the second at the conference. The words are below.
1.He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase,
To added afflictions he addeth his mercy,
To multiplied trials he multiplies peace.
2.When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.
3.His love has no limits, his grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of his infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
Annie Johnson Flint (1866-1932)
Isn't that amazing? I really feel like that song was written just for me. It brought such comfort this past week. Especially on Sunday. I had just found out that I wasn't pregnant, and all through church I felt like I would just break down at any moment and cry, and then this song was announced....Wow! I still felt like crying, but not because I was broken hearted, but because I felt Gods hand upon me.
I know this post is super long, but you have no idea how much all of this has helped me. God has a plan for Jeff and I and whatever that path may be for us I am willing to follow him... whatever the cost. I will continue to pray for a baby, but I will leave it up to Him. I know that I will struggle and I will falter, but I also know where I can find strength. Praise the Lord!
9 comments:
All I can say...I say with you..."Amen."
This line makes me nervous, "That if we praise him, truly praise him (which is key) he will provide Children to those who long for them"
You realize of course that it might never be His plan, right? In which case, praising Him, while still very important, would not work. I'd hate for someone to go through life, praising God to the fullest, hoping to have a baby, then on her deathbed blame her infertility on a lack of praising enough. I take the line "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children" to mean some women, I don't take it as a promise to "all barren women." But of course, I don't really know either.
John, I agree that this statement can be a tad "bold", and I struggle with believing it myself (which is a problem), but, the Bible tells us in Matthew:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone? or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
Now as you stated "what if it isn't his plan?" I believe that if we live a life that puts God first we will ask for the things that ARE in God's will. For example, if I wanted a brand new sports car so that I can show off, I don't believe God woud provide that... the car would not be in his will. But if I needed a car so that I can do the ministry I am called to do, I believe God would provide one.
Does that make sense?
I am very proud of you Shannon. I see in every post how you are growing in your faith and as a woman. I am amazed at what the Lord has already done in your life. My heart breaks for you that your prayers have not been answered yet, but He will answer them. Sometimes not the way that we want them to. But they will get answered. You are wonderful with children and maybe you will get the priviledge of still being surrounded with children even if they are not your own. I dont' know what God has in store for you, but when it's going to happen it will. I believe that. And if not, I see that you are working at being content in whatever God's plans are for you. That is a sign of maturity mentally and spiritually. Keep up the good work. And continue to grow to become the woman of God you desire to be.
I was looking for something online and I ran accross your blog- Infertility is a very painful subject and something most men will never understand. God made us with a desire for children and nothing in this world could make us change our minds. There is such grief every month as we face the unknown and so much sorrow when we see God said no once again. There is a big difference in the Bible between a direct promise to us and then there are promises to specific people in a specific time such as to Hanna. I think the story of Hanna is a very tender way to see how God understands a woman's heart. God answers based on HIS will alone becuase if not our life would be based on works. If God said yes to you it wasn't becuase you praised him or if he said no it wasn't becuase you didn't praise Him enough. The beauty of all this is that it keeps us dependant upon Him month after month. God made you, with this huge desire to have a child- he knows your heart and your longing. He knew every prayer you would ever pray regarding this before you were even born. There are no words and no praise big enough that will cause God to change the course He has prepared for you before hand. All you can do (and me too) is to know God has a good, pleasing, and PERFECT plan for you. I'm not sure why God chooses to bring this horrible pain to some women and to others he doesn't. It seems so unfair! You don't know what God's going to do and that is the special part and that is what keeps us depending on Him. I've spent the better part of these past 10 years in pain. I just recently had my 3rd back surgery and I go to bed every night in agony not knowing how i'll wake up the next day. Every single day God gives me the strength to live just one more day. If we knew the future some of us might not want to go on but it's not knowing that gives us the faith that He holds tomorrow along with my requests, longings, and deisres. There is a song that says :I dont know about the future i just live from day to day, i don't borrow from his sunshine for it's clouds may turn to gray and the path that be my fortune maybe through the flames or floods and today i'll walk beside Him for He knows what is ahead. Many things about tomorrow i dont seem to understand. But i know he holds tomorrow and i know he holds my hand"
you don't walk this like many women who don't know the lord walk- you have the promise that he will not withhold anything good from those who walk upright (ps 86).
Be encouraged. God does have a plan
Lessons to be learned, yes, indeed. The beauty of this is that you are learning. God is revealing pieces of Himself to you and that is the beauty of your trial. Life would be so shallow if we did not face trials, and I know He holds your future and mine so we can rest assured and comforted in His plans. (As anonymous said)
Let me tell you a cool story. There was a woman who lived on our street when we were children. She adopted three kids from one family because she was barren. The three children were loved dearly, she came to accept that she would not give birth to her own, and raised this girl and two boys as her own. The girl, Laurie, was the age of my oldest sister and the youngest of the three children.
Laurie got married when she was in her early 20's and almost immediately got pregnant. (The whole family was living in Alberta by now, running a dairy farm.) About the time that they found out of Laurie's pregnancy the mom was feeling quite sick and figured that it was smoke inhalation after she had rescued the cattle from a barn fire. Turned out that she too was 2 months pregnant with her miracle child! IN HER 40's, having raised three adopted children, thought that she was in menopause...and now the Lord blessed her with a baby to raise alongside her first grandchild!
How awesome is that! Whenever I think that I have figured out some of the ways of God, He marvels me again!
May you continue in the beautiful path of "Lesson's I've Learned"!
All my love to you two,
Brenda
I believe that we are brought into other people's lives for a reason and that the Lord only allows mankind to "discover" new ways of doing things scientifically, when He sees fit. Now right there many people would disagree with me, however I feel that I am at least entitled to my beliefs and opinions on certain subjects.
Ever since a very young age, the thought of being a mother was absolutely wonderful. Also in the same aspect the thought of being able to give that gift to someone else is exciting and terrifying.
What a beautiful thing, to be able to carry the life of somebody else's child, so that they can be given the gift of Life. Although after carrying a baby for 9 months knowing that it is not yours and that you must give it up is a little terrifying, it is a bond you will share with that baby and it's parent's for Life.
I truly believe that the Lord has intended for me to be able to share this gift with a couple unfortunately unable to do so on their own. I pray every night that He will show me the right time to do this, and give the couple the courage to know that it is ok to ask for His and my help.
Our thoughts, prayers and Love are with you and Jeff in your time of trial.
Can I ask who this is? Thanks to all of you for your kind words. You have no idea how much your encouragment means to me.
Shannon
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