Hi everyone, No I am not back home but I realised today that there is wireless Internet here at Jackson's point! So I thought I had left you all hanging long enough and should clue you in on what has been going on.
I am not pregnant. This past Sunday AF showed up. It was very difficult for Jeff and I. We REALLY thought that this was the month. I felt different, had symptoms and really just felt like God had said this would be it... but it wasn't to be. So needless to say we were both very shocked and felt a little confused. But we know that God is in control and whenever it happens it will be the best time for us.
I've been thinking about Gods timing a lot lately. And after talking with a friend, who also went through infertility, about giving everything to God I've realised that I have to follow his will, not mine. This isn't new thoughts, but just a reminder. I think sometimes we need to be reminded of Gods promise that he has everything in control. I know that someday I will get pregnant but until then I need to continue to put God first.
Enough about that for a minute! We have had a wonderful time here in Ontario so far. We arrived at Jeff's parents last Tuesday and stayed with them until Thursday. Then we went to see a friend of mine in Barrie and stayed with her until Friday morning. Then we drove 5 hours to Ottawa to spend the weekend with my brother and his family and my Mom and Dad. On Monday we drove another 5 hours to Jackson's Point where Jeff dropped me off. I hate that he's not here with me! Jeff flew home last night and I will be flying home on Friday. I can't wait to get home. Its not bad here at Jackson's, but home is always nicer!
So that's about it. Please pray that Jeff and I will be able to let God lead us as we go through this journey. I always want to make it about me and what I want. I need to be able to give it over to God.
Thanks for all your prayers this month, don't give up on us!
Shannon
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A place where I can share my thoughts and feelings on infertility, adoption and loss and all of its struggles and joys. As well as a place where I can find support and prayers from my family and friends.
About Me
- Shannon
- Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Our Journey So Far...
Jeff and I met in 1999 at Bible College in Winnipeg. We were married there in April 2002. We didn't start trying to have a baby until 2004. After a couple years of trying on our own we went to our Family Doctor to see what our problem was. After much testing it was discovered that we were dealing with male factor infertility. In November 2007 we were told we had a 1% chance of conceiving on our own and that IVF would be our only solution. We weren't able to afford IVF at the time and so did one round of IUI in April 2009 which was not successful. In the midst of this we decided that Adoption was something God was calling us to and we began looking into what that would be like. in July 2009 we met for the first time with our social worker and began our homestudy to be approved for adoption through social services. In May 2010 we decided we would pursue an adoption of a little boy in Zimbabwe. This eventually fell through due to complications with immigration. While this was going on however we were also hopeful about adopting another little boy from Alberta. In August 2010 we received word that we had been chosen as the adoptive parents. We were ecstatic! In September however, a couple weeks before we were to get him the adoption fell through leaving us heartbroken. Because of this adoption heartbreak, in February 2011 we decided we would pursue IVF again. In June 2012 we traveled to Vancouver for our first (and probably last) IVF treatment. We were able to transfer two day 3 embryos and freeze five day 5 blastocysts. On June 26th for the first time in 8 years of TTC I saw my first positive pregnancy test! We were so happy! Unfortunately a couple weeks later on July 12th we miscarried our precious little ones whom we named Esme (meaning Loved) and Zane (meaning God is Gracious). We were heartbroken but thankful that God saw fit to bless us with their lives even for a few short weeks. In October 2012 we traveled to Vancouver again for a FET. We transferred one sweet little Blast and were blessed to find out we had conceived again. All too soon though little Gabriel (meaning God is my Strength) went to be with Jesus and his Brothers and Sisters on November 15th. We miss our children and look forward to the day that we are reunited with them in Heaven.
And the journey continues...
And the journey continues...
List Of Abbreviations
BFP - Big Fat Positive
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
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4 comments:
Hey Shannon,
Sorry things didn't work out for you and Jeff this month. It seems to have been a really tough month for a lot of people though. Jason just called me a couple hours ago to tell me that he had been transferred to a different store, with absolutely NO warning! Brittany has fainted twice in the last week, and Jenny has an infection in her adnoids, which may now have to be removed. As for me I'm hanging in there, saying prayers for those struggling around me and for God to give me strength to help them. And please don't forget that our offer to help is STILL open. And on a positive note, Jason and I were asked to be Godparents to his bosses daughter.
All My Love,
Breian
Hey Sweetie. So I am sitting here reading your blog and tears are welling up in my eyes. I cannot imagine how you must feel right now. I know it doesn't make you feel any better but yes, you are right...God's timing is always best. Whenever that may be. Wish I were there to give you a hug. I don't want to give false hope but are you sure you are not? I have a few friends who were pregnant and didn't know b/c AF came too. Maybe you can get a blood test to be sure? If you are sure you are sure I guess. Anyhow, I don't know. I just want to tell you that we are praying for both you and Jeffy still. I love you so much. Touch base when you can alright?
thanks for the update. Sorry that AF arrived. It'll happen when it happens. Sorry it's not what you really want to hear. I love you and maybe next month. Don't think about it too much. We are praying for you and jeff!
So sorry, Jeff and Shannon... really. :(
love and prayers,
Allison
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