So I went yesterday for my blood work and while I was there, a girl and her mom were waiting in the waiting room. They looked like they were from a lower income family. The mom was quite anxious, and had a few "chats" with the nurse about how long it was taking to get the results back on a test. The daughter looked quite calm and actually was telling her mother to sit down and relax.
While I was giving my information to the nurse one of the lab techs delivered the news to them. The daughter was pregnant! They screamed and jumped and cried and hugged... and it was quite emotional. Except the daughter is like 16!!!!!! I was so mad. It is so unfair that a 16 year old is pregnant, that the family looks as if they can't even afford the clothes on their back! Here I am taking a stupid blood test to see why I, a mature (okay... somewhat mature) married women, who can provide a loving, supportive home can't get pregnant. Then of course the nurse I was working with goes into how she found out she was pregnant, and how excited she was, and how it just happened! I mean shes filling out a form that's about my infertility. Have a little sensitivity!
So anyways, I came back to the office to see Jeff and I was almost in tears. I wanted so badly to be that girl... to find out I was pregnant and scream for joy! I was jealous of her more then anything.
And yes I know that I am being a little judgmental of this family. And they just may be the best people in the world to raise a baby. So I apologise for being mean about them. I just wanted to get the frustration off my chest.
Shannon
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A place where I can share my thoughts and feelings on infertility, adoption and loss and all of its struggles and joys. As well as a place where I can find support and prayers from my family and friends.
About Me
- Shannon
- Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Our Journey So Far...
Jeff and I met in 1999 at Bible College in Winnipeg. We were married there in April 2002. We didn't start trying to have a baby until 2004. After a couple years of trying on our own we went to our Family Doctor to see what our problem was. After much testing it was discovered that we were dealing with male factor infertility. In November 2007 we were told we had a 1% chance of conceiving on our own and that IVF would be our only solution. We weren't able to afford IVF at the time and so did one round of IUI in April 2009 which was not successful. In the midst of this we decided that Adoption was something God was calling us to and we began looking into what that would be like. in July 2009 we met for the first time with our social worker and began our homestudy to be approved for adoption through social services. In May 2010 we decided we would pursue an adoption of a little boy in Zimbabwe. This eventually fell through due to complications with immigration. While this was going on however we were also hopeful about adopting another little boy from Alberta. In August 2010 we received word that we had been chosen as the adoptive parents. We were ecstatic! In September however, a couple weeks before we were to get him the adoption fell through leaving us heartbroken. Because of this adoption heartbreak, in February 2011 we decided we would pursue IVF again. In June 2012 we traveled to Vancouver for our first (and probably last) IVF treatment. We were able to transfer two day 3 embryos and freeze five day 5 blastocysts. On June 26th for the first time in 8 years of TTC I saw my first positive pregnancy test! We were so happy! Unfortunately a couple weeks later on July 12th we miscarried our precious little ones whom we named Esme (meaning Loved) and Zane (meaning God is Gracious). We were heartbroken but thankful that God saw fit to bless us with their lives even for a few short weeks. In October 2012 we traveled to Vancouver again for a FET. We transferred one sweet little Blast and were blessed to find out we had conceived again. All too soon though little Gabriel (meaning God is my Strength) went to be with Jesus and his Brothers and Sisters on November 15th. We miss our children and look forward to the day that we are reunited with them in Heaven.
And the journey continues...
And the journey continues...
List Of Abbreviations
BFP - Big Fat Positive
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
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2 comments:
Hi Shannon...Don't worry you are human. I can't imagine what that would feel like all I can do is continue to pray for you guys. We love you and know that God's plan is perfect. Just keep hoping in Jesus and try your best to seek Him during this whole process...sometimes easier said then done I am sure. I love you!
Lady.xox
Wow Shannon, that was insensitive of that nurse. I understand she was excited, but that was just plain mean to you. As for the 16 year old, Debbie and I have been talking about that very same thing. Sometimes it must feel so unfair and unjust.
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