AF came this morning... actually last night a little, but I waited until this morning to be sure. So there goes my chance for this month. You know, I have been through this roller coaster 38 (wish I could swear right here) times!! And to tell you the truth I'm getting very sick of it. I'm not really sad this month, more angry right now. It just isn't fair that so many people can just look at a guy and get pregnant and we have to go through all this. I don't know. It's so hard. And do you want to know the hardest part? Having to tell Jeff that this isn't the month. Having to see his face as I tell him. I hate it.
I think I'm going to focus a little more in these coming months on getting healthy. Jeff and I have stopped drinking coke so maybe that is the boost we need to start losing weight. Who knows, I'm just so FRUSTRATED right now.
Well, the day still goes on whether I want it to or not and I've got a busy one.
Shannon
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A place where I can share my thoughts and feelings on infertility, adoption and loss and all of its struggles and joys. As well as a place where I can find support and prayers from my family and friends.
About Me
- Shannon
- Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Our Journey So Far...
Jeff and I met in 1999 at Bible College in Winnipeg. We were married there in April 2002. We didn't start trying to have a baby until 2004. After a couple years of trying on our own we went to our Family Doctor to see what our problem was. After much testing it was discovered that we were dealing with male factor infertility. In November 2007 we were told we had a 1% chance of conceiving on our own and that IVF would be our only solution. We weren't able to afford IVF at the time and so did one round of IUI in April 2009 which was not successful. In the midst of this we decided that Adoption was something God was calling us to and we began looking into what that would be like. in July 2009 we met for the first time with our social worker and began our homestudy to be approved for adoption through social services. In May 2010 we decided we would pursue an adoption of a little boy in Zimbabwe. This eventually fell through due to complications with immigration. While this was going on however we were also hopeful about adopting another little boy from Alberta. In August 2010 we received word that we had been chosen as the adoptive parents. We were ecstatic! In September however, a couple weeks before we were to get him the adoption fell through leaving us heartbroken. Because of this adoption heartbreak, in February 2011 we decided we would pursue IVF again. In June 2012 we traveled to Vancouver for our first (and probably last) IVF treatment. We were able to transfer two day 3 embryos and freeze five day 5 blastocysts. On June 26th for the first time in 8 years of TTC I saw my first positive pregnancy test! We were so happy! Unfortunately a couple weeks later on July 12th we miscarried our precious little ones whom we named Esme (meaning Loved) and Zane (meaning God is Gracious). We were heartbroken but thankful that God saw fit to bless us with their lives even for a few short weeks. In October 2012 we traveled to Vancouver again for a FET. We transferred one sweet little Blast and were blessed to find out we had conceived again. All too soon though little Gabriel (meaning God is my Strength) went to be with Jesus and his Brothers and Sisters on November 15th. We miss our children and look forward to the day that we are reunited with them in Heaven.
And the journey continues...
And the journey continues...
List Of Abbreviations
BFP - Big Fat Positive
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
BFN - Big Fat Negative
TTC - Trying To Concieve
AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)
POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)
2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)
CD - Cycle Day
LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)
LPD - Luteal Phase Defect
DH - Dear husband
SA - Semen Analysis
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer
OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
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4 comments:
so sorry that it's not what you were hoping for. I wish you the best losing weight, i am sure it will make a difference. It did for me anyway. I know the anger and the frustration (over the 2nd one) and telling your dh about it. I wish you peace and comfort. I love you both!
I don't really have too much to say except that I am frustrated for you!!! I am mad too! :( I will be sad for you this time. **TEARS** Love you lots honey.
Oh, Shannon, you must be so discouraged and frustrated! Doug and I haven't started trying yet, but I live in fear of finding myself in the same boat when we finally do try. Then, all the questions from nosey friends and family (you know, the "so, when are you guys having kids?" questions) will be not only annoying, but tear-jerking as well. You're in our prayers!
Shannon,
Can we please meet for coffee to talk sometime soon? I don't think I can come all the way out to HR due to our circumstances, but please let me know ASAP. I have prayed alot for you guys, (daily) and would really like to discuss your options with you. All my love,
Breian
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