Naming Our Little Ones

A couple weeks ago I decided that I would like to give names to the two babies we lost through the miscarriage.  While I am sad that we lost 23 embryo's and I love them all dearly, the two we miscarried have left a little bigger of an impression on my heart.  To have had them live inside me for 6 weeks I think made our connection to them a little deeper.  I felt it would be nice to be able to refer to them by names sometimes rather than always "little ones".

I wanted names that had meaning, not necessarily names that we would have chosen had they lived.  I scoured through baby name sites and started a list of names that had meanings I liked.  Two stood out on the list so we decided to go with those.

The first name is Esme.  Esme means Loved.  As soon as we transferred our two little embryos I had a strong feeling that one was a girl.  For this reason I felt comfortable going with a female name.  I think the meaning says it all.  Our little girl was and is Loved. 

The second name is Zane.  Zane means Gift from God or God is Gracious.  I don't have any feelings about whether the second baby was a girl or a boy so I wanted something that was unisex (though I must admit I think of Zane as a boys name first).  This little baby was an incredible gift from God and through this whole experience God's Grace has been so evident to us.  The meaning is yet again perfect for our little one.

So, we miss our little Esme and Zane and all our little ones in Heaven and we thank God everyday that he saw fit to bless us with their lives no matter how short they were.