THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS OF A WANNA-BE-MOTHER: Memorial Necklace

Friday, August 24, 2012

Memorial Necklace

This is the memorial necklace that I had made to remember my precious little ones. If I ever miscarry again I can add an EDD (Estimated Due Date) birthstone to the necklace. I pray of course that there will only ever be these two on here, but we never know our future. Proverbs 3:5-6 is my favorite bible verse and has been since I was a teenager. It has helped me through so many tough times, especially in my IF journey.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

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Our Journey So Far...

Jeff and I met in 1999 at Bible College in Winnipeg. We were married there in April 2002. We didn't start trying to have a baby until 2004. After a couple years of trying on our own we went to our Family Doctor to see what our problem was. After much testing it was discovered that we were dealing with male factor infertility. In November 2007 we were told we had a 1% chance of conceiving on our own and that IVF would be our only solution. We weren't able to afford IVF at the time and so did one round of IUI in April 2009 which was not successful. In the midst of this we decided that Adoption was something God was calling us to and we began looking into what that would be like. in July 2009 we met for the first time with our social worker and began our homestudy to be approved for adoption through social services. In May 2010 we decided we would pursue an adoption of a little boy in Zimbabwe. This eventually fell through due to complications with immigration. While this was going on however we were also hopeful about adopting another little boy from Alberta. In August 2010 we received word that we had been chosen as the adoptive parents. We were ecstatic! In September however, a couple weeks before we were to get him the adoption fell through leaving us heartbroken. Because of this adoption heartbreak, in February 2011 we decided we would pursue IVF again. In June 2012 we traveled to Vancouver for our first (and probably last) IVF treatment. We were able to transfer two day 3 embryos and freeze five day 5 blastocysts. On June 26th for the first time in 8 years of TTC I saw my first positive pregnancy test! We were so happy! Unfortunately a couple weeks later on July 12th we miscarried our precious little ones whom we named Esme (meaning Loved) and Zane (meaning God is Gracious). We were heartbroken but thankful that God saw fit to bless us with their lives even for a few short weeks. In October 2012 we traveled to Vancouver again for a FET. We transferred one sweet little Blast and were blessed to find out we had conceived again. All too soon though little Gabriel (meaning God is my Strength) went to be with Jesus and his Brothers and Sisters on November 15th. We miss our children and look forward to the day that we are reunited with them in Heaven.

And the journey continues...

List Of Abbreviations

BFP - Big Fat Positive

BFN - Big Fat Negative

TTC - Trying To Concieve

AF - Aunt Flow (aka Period)

DPO - Days Past Ovulation

BD - Baby Dancing (aka Sex)

POAS - Pee On A Stick (Pregnancy or ovulation testing)

2WW - 2 Week Wait (From ovulation to expected period)

CD - Cycle Day

LP - Luteal Phase (time between ovulation and period)

LPD - Luteal Phase Defect

DH - Dear husband

SA - Semen Analysis

IVF - In Vitro Fertilization

FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer

OHSS - Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

HPT - Home Pregnancy Test

THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS OF A WANNA-BE-MOTHER

Friday, August 24, 2012

Memorial Necklace

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