We've now had two homestudy meetings and each have been great. I think we've connected well with our social worker and the best part is that she's a Christian, so she understands our beliefs and values. So far we've just gone over family history, our thoughts on certain subjects, and how we would describe ourselves. She has also walked through the house, and seemed pleased. There are a few things that we will obviously need to change and fix before we have a child (ie. childproofing) but for right now it's all good.
This past week I've been thinking a lot about what we need to buy for a child, and I must say I'm a little freaked out! lol! Jeff and I went to Walmart the other day and ventured into the baby section (which may I say felt very strange!) and we were looking at all the things we will need. There's TONS of things to think about, and tons of money to be spent! It's a little overwhelming... so I think we will just start to buy stuff now. I'm thinking things like sippy cups, bath towels and childproofing items are safe to get since whether we get an infant or a toddler we will need them. I've started a list of what we will need... if you want to give me any pointers I would love to have them!
We are trying to stay realistic about how long it may take to be placed with a child, but I will admit it's hard not to dream about it. I just hope that when the time comes we are as prepared as we can be!
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I've had to send this story to you in three parts because of the character limits
This is a true story of the adoption of our son who is now 26 and living with his partner and a 13 month old son called Nathan... our Grandson.
The story was written after we were asked by the Children Services Dept to talk to the year three nurses at the Base Hospital. The nurses were amazed because most thought like everyone else that when you had sex without protection you had a very good chance of getting pregnant.
So this is our story
ADOPTION
Growing up, getting married and starting a family is what we hear from our parents for quite a bit of our life.
"When are we getting a grandson / daughter... John has a beautiful boy... you shouldn't have to work now. John lives so far away, we don't see our grandson..."
You've heard it all before.
"Bar B Q on this weekend … we've arranged a video for the kids, don't forget them."
"Mary's' getting her two girls christened on Sunday... after the service, morning tea is over at Mary's' mothers' place.
The grandparents are over the moon over the girls, the sweetest things since sliced bread"
Unfortunately its' not as sweet as it all seems.
The majority of people continue life, growing up, getting married, having kids, educating the kids and looking forward to "getting the kids off their hands."
For some, "kids" are a real problem. Most of us believe it is our born right to be able to produce kids. Unfortunately a growing percentage are finding - that impossible.
Helen and I were married in Sept 1973. We honeymooned in New Zealand and came back to Rockhampton to settle into married life of flatting, building a house, producing grand-kids, the whole bit.
But time passed and no grandchildren. The Doctor said "what you need is a good quiet weekend, plenty of food, wine and don't worry about anything."
We tried that... I don't know how many years went passed, but finally Helen decided that maybe we should put our name down for adoption.
ADOPTION ? I'd never thought it would come to that.
We duly fronted up to the Dept of Children Services and had our first interview. Then the medicals started... then more interviews at home.
The myths of adoption were surfacing.
Interviews with the Department are lengthy and they don't miss a thing. Our interviews were done by a "Miss" qualified on paper, but also a very "understanding" person. She had the cheek to ask us if we were having sex and were we doing it at the right time.
The Dept tells you nothing verbally or on paper, until you are "approved". From there it is a game of sit and wait, have your situation confirmed and re-approved. You can contact the Dept as often as you like, but all you will get for an answer is "when we have some good news we'll call you".
Part 2 of our Adoption Story
Our wait went on for 4 years 11 months. In this time Helen, bought and gave away baby cloths, stocked up on nappies, decided in her mind "the baby" would be a boy, so put royal blue carpet in the baby room, Mr Men curtains, baby suits,......it went on and on.
In August 1984 we had a party, Helen said "wouldn't it be funny if this was our last party". It was a windy weekend and she wanted to wash the nappies, what on earth for I don't know.
Maybe it was mothers intuition ?
We went off to work as normal the next day. Helen worked at Hillman Motors in Denison Street and I with the Capricornia Electricity Board in Bolsover Street.
The Dept rang Helen that Monday and said they'd like to see us both at 3.30pm - no other information.
Down we went adrenaline moving a little faster.
"I have some good news and some bad news - which do you want first"
Well it's a BOY......and the bad news is you'll have to go to Cairns and be there at 9am on Wednesday.
We didn't have a cot, bath, bottles, any of the baby stuff except nappies and Wednesday was only 41 hours away.
We decided to fly. Down to the airlines - sorry no flights - only Monday,Wednesday and Friday afternoons - what about the other airline ? they follow us.
Back to the Dept. Now of course getting later in the afternoon. A hurried phone call to Cairns and the time was changed to 9am Thursday, we could make that.
"Did you have enough time to get everything ready in nine months for your baby, you knew nearly to the day when your baby was due"
Helen had to resign from her work with a letter to the Dept saying that she wouldn't work again for 12 months, get it to the Dept so we could pick up the collection papers. I took a week off work at very short notice. Helen slipped out and bought a cot, borrowed a baby bath and a carry case and we were off.
The "Milk Run" to Cairns, a night in a motel and next morning the excitement and anticipation had the nerves at the end of the tether. We couldn't stay still, so we left an hour early for the Cairns Dept.
The taxi driver was ever so careful with the carry case, he said his kids were adopted.
We sat in the park from 8 to 9am watching every car, the doors, people going in and finally 9 am came round. It's quite an odd feeling walking about with an empty carry case and fronting up to more unknown people.
"Have you thought of a name......his birth mother called him William John … that was my grandfathers name... no we'll change it slightly to ANDREW JOHN... sign the papers, pay for the birth certificate... now we've got a 40 km drive out to the foster home"
The foster parents were very nice people and we have kept in contact with them.
Up to this point we hadn't seen a photo of the 6 week old baby and the Dept had said that if we didn't like the baby we didn't have to say … yes ... how could you control yourself to do that I don't know.
The foster mother took Helen inside and passed her the baby "the moment of truth" well he smiled and that was it.
I had a quick lesson on mixing Lactogen and Helen redressed our new Andrew and we were whisked back to the airport. Neither Helen nor I had ever fed a baby...we'd watched a few people.
So at the airport we rolled Andrew up in a nappy and produced one of my newly mixed bottles...which way does the teat go up...it all ended happily. Andrew drank it all, smiling and happy.
Part three of our adoption story
We all flew to Rockhampton and were met by one of Andrews' grandmothers, cousins and aunty.
Now it was bath time and having never bathed a 6 week old baby we had the neighbours in to show us how.
The days went by and the joy of having a baby finally after 5 years wait was quite overwhelming. A massive change to our lifestyle, all in a positive direction.
In May 1984 we had booked to go to New Zealand for Christmas and just in case, we had put a tentative booking on a child seat too.
Very proudly we flew over to N.Z. with my families first grandchild. Andrew was just 6 months old. Now, he's 4 years and you might ask why don't we "get" a sister.
Well it's not as easy as that and what's worse I'm over 40 and that's where the Queensland Dept. draws the line.
You have to be under 40 to collect.
Nick & Helen
i'm not sure where you guys are located, but kijiji.com is a fabulous site. because kids use things for such a short period of time they are often in fabulous shape. it's like an online garage sale! big big savings!
you compliment a good very interesting blog, visit my graces. http://www.youturi.blogspot.com
Shannon, our thoughts and prayers are with you. Have a fun time, since if you have to spend money, you might as well enjoy it!
Foarte interesant subiectul postat de tine. M-am uitat pe blogul tau si imi place si am sa mai revin sa-l vizitez. O zi buna
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