Friday, February 22, 2008

Infertility SUCKS!!

We had our information meeting on IVF last night. It wasn't too informative, only because I have done so much research I kind of knew it all. I figured it would be good for Jeff but he said nothing was new to him either because I tell him everything. :) I can't help it I'm a women... I talk!

So, we didn't find out anything new but it was frustrating listening to all of it. If you ever have a minute research IVF and see what is involved in doing it. It is such a complicated, time and money consuming thing. I left feeling rather mad that we are at this point in our journey. This is not how babies are suppose to be made. Its suppose to be free... you know in the back seat of the car kind of deal!

Jeff and I are still deciding on whether this is the path for us. There are a lot of factors to consider. There is funding available but it seems that it wouldn't be fully funded just partial. Also, the ethics of IVF are to be considered. And of course the time and strain put on my body. We figure we will go as far as God allows. So right now I have a Pelvic Ultrasound this afternoon and then we will book an appointment with the doctor to see about funding.

There was a psychologist there last night as well. Again, I kind of knew everything she was saying, but one thing stuck in my mind. She was talking about the grief that infertility patients go through and that many people grieve the loss of the ability to have children easily. That is where I am at. I am so MAD that this is what we have come to. I am so MAD that we can't just have sex and 9 months later have a baby. When I hear of people who got pregnant by "oops" or tried for a couple months and then got pregnant I just want to scream! Why can't that be us! It isn't fair.

And I'm not mad at God. We live in a fallen world. Our (being all of humanity) sin has caused the suffering. I am just mad at the circumstance we are in. If it weren't for God, I don't think I would be able to cope with this at all.

So anyways, sorry again that there hasn't been regular updates. I don't even know if people come by to check this blog anymore, but it does help me get out all of my feelings.

Shannon

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shannon......I didn't realize you were a "back seat of the car" sort of girl....oh, and you left out " 15 minutes at the New Balmoral Hotel"

All jokes aside.....we try to keep up with your journey. You and Jeff are both very special people to us, and we are supporting you in prayer.... for a miracle to happen for you, but also, that if it isn't in Gods plan, that he would comfort you, and be there with you walking with you on this journey. Stay close to Him, and trust in him as you explore this next step. You are in our thoughts and prayers, and we love you both!

Anonymous said...

Dear Shannon....JEFF LISTENED TO EVERYTHING YOU SAID! What? Is this a man we are talking about?!

Are we going to start a bank account for IVF for you guys once you know how much you need?

We want to help, and I am sure that you have many others who would donate to the cause...of course we will all want to be the first ones to know....but understandably that will be you two! ;) Lots of love!

Sue-Ann said...

Couldn't agree more with your title! It does suck! Sometimes it is as simple as that.

Anonymous said...

Hey Shannon,
Although I do not know what it is like to be in your shoes, I can imagine the pain you are going through and wish I could take that burden from you, if only for a day. I hope everything works out for you and Jeff. You are going to be the most amazing mother when it is your time, whether through IVF, adoption, or a miracle of natural conception. I am thinking of you always and I hope you know I am always praying for you and will be there for you through anything!!
Love, Dawn

Anonymous said...

hi there!

im a new time reader- came across your blog when googling. you and your husband seem to be very nice people, so i thought id drop you a line.

i know how...frustrating it can be to not be "blessed" with easy conception...i myself was told a few years back i couldnt have kids due to medical issues. it was the most devestating news id ever heard.

anyways, im going to be a regular reader, for sure. your blogs very inspiring, and comforting too, in a way. i wish you and your husband the VERY best with trying for children. have you considered adoption? like the anon reader commented; im sure no matter what, you'll be an awesome mother!

god bless,
gen

Shannon said...

Gen, not sure if you will come back and read this, but I just wanted to say thanks for the kind words and sorry to hear about your struggle with infertility. It really does suck doesn't it? I hope that God can use my feelings to give others hope and in turn help us through this journey. Thanks for reading!

Shannon