Infertility SUCKS!!

We had our information meeting on IVF last night. It wasn't too informative, only because I have done so much research I kind of knew it all. I figured it would be good for Jeff but he said nothing was new to him either because I tell him everything. :) I can't help it I'm a women... I talk!

So, we didn't find out anything new but it was frustrating listening to all of it. If you ever have a minute research IVF and see what is involved in doing it. It is such a complicated, time and money consuming thing. I left feeling rather mad that we are at this point in our journey. This is not how babies are suppose to be made. Its suppose to be free... you know in the back seat of the car kind of deal!

Jeff and I are still deciding on whether this is the path for us. There are a lot of factors to consider. There is funding available but it seems that it wouldn't be fully funded just partial. Also, the ethics of IVF are to be considered. And of course the time and strain put on my body. We figure we will go as far as God allows. So right now I have a Pelvic Ultrasound this afternoon and then we will book an appointment with the doctor to see about funding.

There was a psychologist there last night as well. Again, I kind of knew everything she was saying, but one thing stuck in my mind. She was talking about the grief that infertility patients go through and that many people grieve the loss of the ability to have children easily. That is where I am at. I am so MAD that this is what we have come to. I am so MAD that we can't just have sex and 9 months later have a baby. When I hear of people who got pregnant by "oops" or tried for a couple months and then got pregnant I just want to scream! Why can't that be us! It isn't fair.

And I'm not mad at God. We live in a fallen world. Our (being all of humanity) sin has caused the suffering. I am just mad at the circumstance we are in. If it weren't for God, I don't think I would be able to cope with this at all.

So anyways, sorry again that there hasn't been regular updates. I don't even know if people come by to check this blog anymore, but it does help me get out all of my feelings.

Shannon