Age...

I'm 25 years old. Now I know that I am not old, but each year that passes by I get a little more tense about this baby thing. Not because I feel I will be too old to have kids, but that I will be too old when they move out!! Don't laugh! I always dreamed of having kids young so that by the time they are off to college, I would only be in my early 40's. That would be awesome! I mean there are some women who are only just starting their families at 40!

I know that this is all very silly, but I really do hate that the months pass by and that even if I get pregnant now and everything went as planned (I want to have 3 kids... well right now I want three... ask me again after the first!), I will be 30 by the time I have my last. That means I will be almost 50 before they leave the house! Not bad, but still 40 would be much better!

So, most of you are probably laughing at me right now, and rightly so! I'm laughing at the stupidity of it to! But come on... wouldn't you love to be young(er) when the kids left the nest?

Shannon :)

Thought for the day...

I have a calender on my desk that has little thoughts on it and this is what today's said:

"Why does God do this to me? That question loses its power when I remember that this Lord, into whose strong hands I long ago committed my life, is engineering a universe of unimaginable proportions and complexity. How could I possibly understand all that He must take into consideration as He deals with it and with me, a single individual! He has given us countless assurances that we cannot get lost in the shuffle."

That helped today. Sometimes I wonder why God has made us wait so long for a child. Its hard not to get angry some days and feel as if he has forgotten us. But I know better. I know that he has done many wonderful things for Jeff and I, things that we don't even deserve. I complain about God not answering my prayers, but how often do I pray? And when I do... is it always about me? ME, ME, ME! What about thanks for the wonderful life he has given us! What about thanks for our health, our family, friends, and church. We have tons to be thankful for.

I know that some day I will have a child. Whether it be of my own flesh and blood or if we adopt. I also know that there will still be difficult days ahead, days when I will be angry, and bitter. But God is great! And I know that he has a plan for us, and for our unborn child. I just need to learn patience.

Shannon

Happy Birthday!

It's my Nephews 10th birthday today!

Happy Birthday Josh! I can't believe it was 10 years ago! How time flies!

I hope you have a good one! We love you lots!

See you in March!
Auntie Shannon and Uncle Jeff

I got an appointment!!

I phoned the Doctor today and made an appointment to have the HSG dye test. Its next Friday at 1:00, here at the High River Hospital. I'm excited about it. I will be on cycle day 13 which will be just before I ovulate (even if I ovulate early). This means that when I get the test done it may have helped clean out my uterus and tubes and it gives me a 20% better chance of getting pregnant. So the test, with the knowledge that I may ovulate later, could make this month an exciting one!

So I am excited, but also very scared. When I get positive like this it always ends in heartbreak. Let's just pray that this month it won't.

Shannon

Bye, Bye Puppy!

I found out today that my little puppy has a new home. She goes to her new family on Sunday. So I only have a few days left to pretend I own her! I really wanted her... I just didn't think I could handle it. Now I'm regretting it. I had her all day today at home and she was so good... no trouble at all. But I guess my chance went by. I'm sure its for the better, although that doesn't make it easier.

So, not much else to say today. Had a pretty relaxing day at home. Had to go to work this morning but was able to take the afternoon and night off. My friend and I went for a nice long walk so that felt good. Besides for that... pretty boring!

I hope you all had a great day.

Shannon

Give me pills and a heating pad please

So I started my period today, otherwise known as "AF" (Aunt Flow) in the forum world. And it sucks big time. First of all, to all you men out there.... YOU SUCK! Every single month us women have to go through the most disgusting, painful thing, and what do you get... nothing!

Okay, I know its not your fault... Sorry. See there go my hormones again... I did warn you in advance about them.

On happier news... we dedicated a baby today! Friends of ours, Dave and Sue Clark, wanted Jeff and I to go to Glenmore Temple and dedicate their new baby girl, Claire. So it was a fun day. The dedication went very well, we didn't have to preach or lead the service, and we went to Red Lobster for lunch! So not to shabby! Today was quite special for us actually. Dave and Sue have asked Jeff and I to be Claire's God parents, and I was privileged to see Claire being born. (That was the most amazing experience!)

So the day started off kind of crappy, but it ended well. I must say even though AF is here, I am excited about the month to come. Maybe this will be it for us! Keep praying people!

And to the men.... Sorry again for the earlier outburst! :)

Love you all!

Shannon

Alien Activity Detected...BEWARE!

All I have to say today is.... my poor sweet Jeff. It must be hard when it seems as if your wife's body has been taken over by an alien. It has to be confusing when one day she seems so sweet and the next she acts like she's been possessed by demons. My dear, dear husband.... I will be back again... soon (give it about a week).

Shannon

I... Hate... HORMONES!!!!!

During this time of my cycle my hormones RAGE! Poor, poor Jeff! One minute I'm bawling my eyes out, and the next I'm bawling him out! He's been so good though. He just laughs at me, which of course just makes me even more mad!

I was looking at pictures of a childhood friends newborn baby today. He was just born last week. I was fine looking at them until I saw a picture of the dad holding the baby while sitting at the computer. That one made me cry. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it's because of two things. One, I love to see a man with a baby, and I can't wait to see Jeff with our baby. Two, they weren't posing or looking at the camera. It was just a snapshot of everyday life. The life that I want to have. I just imagined what it would be like to hold my baby while still doing the everyday things.

So I cried, which is nothing all that new. But then to top it off I'm stupid enough to watch a Baby Story during my lunch break. That just isn't smart at this time of the month! So I sat there crying through the whole thing. I was a mess.

I just want to apologise ahead of time for how sappy, emotional or angry the next few posts may be. Until the beginning of February I have no control over what I say or do! Just blame it on the hormones.

Have a good day!

Shannon

What?!!!!

So this month I have been charting my temperature, otherwise known as BBT charting (basal body temperature). You have to take your temperature the moment you wake up. Before you step out of bed, or even before you talk. This is suppose to help you understand your cycle, so that you know when you ovulate. The concept is that when your temperature rises you are ovulating.

Now I have tried ovulation tests, and I never get a positive. I even bought a saliva ovulation predictor test and that didn't work. I tried taking my temperature last year and that didn't work either, but only because I couldn't ever remember to take my temperature before I got out of bed in the morning.

So this month I decided that I would try it again, since so many women have had success with using it. I have only forgotten one morning. So that's good.

But guess what I found out this month! I ovulate a LOT later then I thought! So this is excellent news! If I know when I ovulate, Jeff and I can... well... "do the business" at the right time!

So here we come February... armed and dangerous!

Shannon

I love puppys!

I had the privilege today of puppy sitting! Our Thrift Store manager breeds Chihuahuas and has been bringing the puppy to work. I of course have been helping her out with looking after the puppy! She actually wants me to have the dog, especially since I have been spoiling the puppy left, right and centre!

Jeff does not understand why anyone would want a dog. They pee on the floor, smell bad, lick your face and can't be left at home alone! He prefers cats. I on the other hand would have any animal I could get my hands on... including a dog!

So for the past couple weeks I have had my manager pretty much begging me to take the puppy, and Jeff saying don't you dare! I am very much conflicted by this! On the one hand, I love the puppy. She is the cutest little thing you have ever seen. I have always wanted a chihuahua so that I can dress it (you actually HAVE to do this in the winter... they lose to much heat) and carry it around with me where ever I go. On the other hand, I agree with Jeff about one thing... they need a lot of attention. We travel a fair amount and the dog wouldn't be able to go with us so we would have to find a sitter for it. While we are here in High River our Store manager would take the dog. But what happens when we move from here? Will we be able to find someone? Our Cats are easy because we can leave for a few days without even worrying about them.

All of this made me think. People say that a dog is like a child. They are very dependant. If I feel that a dog would be too much work, that you have to find "puppy sitters" all the time and they make a mess, then what am I going to do with a kid!! I know that obviously a child is a lot different then a dog, but if I can't handle a mere puppy, can I handle a child?

I guess it made me think about how much a child changes your life. I have wanted children for as long as I can remember and I have thought about all the wonderful things that a child brings to your life, but I haven't fully thought of the challenges. Jeff and I are very use to living a carefree life. We are use to being able to take off at any time of the night for a drive or for a late night snack. We can decide at a moments notice to go camping, or take a trip somewhere. A child will change all that. It will also change our relationship. I am sure for the better, but there will be tough times too.

So I really don't have a point in this post, other then to say to the mothers and fathers out there... how on earth do you do it?

Shannon