Hard to believe it's only been a week since we got the horrific news that we would not be getting our baby boy. It feels like forever ago for some reason.
I was finally able to go in his room last night. It wasn't near as bad as what I thought it would be. I don't know if that's good or not... part of me feels like I've just kind of closed off those emotions... the other part feels like I'm coming to terms with it all and am at peace with it. Maybe its a bit of both? Who knows.
I think part of my feeling better is that Jeff and I have started TTC again. I wasn't going to tell anyone... but that's just not me!! lol! We've decided to take it pretty seriously and have ordered a whole bunch of products that we are hoping will give us a better chance of conceiving. I might go into those at a later date when we've been using them for a while... maybe I'll do a review of them. We are excited yet nervous about venturing onto the fertility roller coaster again. It's been kind of nice this last year and a half not wondering every month if we were pregnant. I know that I am going to be an emotional basket case again... sorry Jeff! :o) But I am excited at the possibility of having a baby.
I think that's it for now... I have a few thoughts and opinions on some things that people have said and pet peeves that I have. I might share that in my next post. Until then...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thank You!
It never ceases to amaze me the support I get from all my friends and family and even from people I've never met. I am extremely grateful for all the comments, messages and notes telling us that you are thinking about us and praying for us. I've especially been thankful for all the bible verses and reminders that in the midst of all of this God is right here beside us... even when it seems at times he isn't.
I'm feeling a little better now that its been a couple days. I honestly believe that 7 years of disappointments every month has given us the coping skills we need to get through these times. I had my day of crying and now I'm back at work and plugging along trying to forget about everything. I will admit that it's the little things that set me off though. For example, we had to get some groceries today and all of a sudden my heart started racing as I realised I'd have to go past the baby area which is where I bought a TON of stuff. It's easier to ignore the pain in my heart when nothing is around to remind me.
I've had a few people ask if we are going to fight the decision that was made. We explored taking the matter higher up but for every point we had they had a valid answer. We also don't want to get ourselves in trouble with the Yukon Family Services since we are still trying to adopt through them. As for our little boy, they have told us that he shouldn't be in Foster Care for too much longer as they already have some families picked out in Alberta... we are grateful for that.
I can honestly say that I am very skeptical of a system where one person can make such a life changing decision. I agree that policy must be followed... we stress it at our ministry unit all the time... but there comes a point (when other people are involved) where you just slap the hand of the employee and continue on. I really think that is what should have happened in this case.
Well, if there is any lesson we have learned through this it is don't trust any decision until the child is in your arms (and even then with adoption it can be iffy) This is two children now that we have "lost" due to "policy" and "politics". Both of my boys will always be in my heart and I will always remember them.
Thanks again for your support.
I'm feeling a little better now that its been a couple days. I honestly believe that 7 years of disappointments every month has given us the coping skills we need to get through these times. I had my day of crying and now I'm back at work and plugging along trying to forget about everything. I will admit that it's the little things that set me off though. For example, we had to get some groceries today and all of a sudden my heart started racing as I realised I'd have to go past the baby area which is where I bought a TON of stuff. It's easier to ignore the pain in my heart when nothing is around to remind me.
I've had a few people ask if we are going to fight the decision that was made. We explored taking the matter higher up but for every point we had they had a valid answer. We also don't want to get ourselves in trouble with the Yukon Family Services since we are still trying to adopt through them. As for our little boy, they have told us that he shouldn't be in Foster Care for too much longer as they already have some families picked out in Alberta... we are grateful for that.
I can honestly say that I am very skeptical of a system where one person can make such a life changing decision. I agree that policy must be followed... we stress it at our ministry unit all the time... but there comes a point (when other people are involved) where you just slap the hand of the employee and continue on. I really think that is what should have happened in this case.
Well, if there is any lesson we have learned through this it is don't trust any decision until the child is in your arms (and even then with adoption it can be iffy) This is two children now that we have "lost" due to "policy" and "politics". Both of my boys will always be in my heart and I will always remember them.
Thanks again for your support.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
How many times can a heart break before it is crushed beyond repair?
I have never been as heartbroken as I am at this moment. I know that I promised some good news... unfortunately the good news I was hoping to share was taken away from us today.
Since February we have been hoping on adopting a 1 year old boy from Alberta. I can't go into many details since this adoption was through Family Services and I must protect the child, but the short story is that the birth father put our names forward as the people he would like to adopt his son. Over the many months since February we have been on a roller coaster of good news and bad news... one moment thinking we would get him, the next thinking we wouldn't.
While we were away in Newfoundland we got a call from Alberta saying that we were chosen as the adoptive family for this child. We were ecstatic. Of course that didn't mean it would actually happen... there would have to be a meeting between the Yukon and Alberta and all the people involved would have to sign off.
While we were in Alberta at the end of August we were allowed to go and visit the foster family and meet our "son". He was so beautiful... I was in love! He was everything we had ever dreamed of. He looks so much like Jeff that I don't think anyone would ever believe that he was adopted! He is such a boy’s boy... rough and tumble. He loves trucks and I don't think there was a moment he didn't have one in his hand. We had a great time getting to know him and getting to know the foster family. Right away we all clicked... it all felt very right.
When we got back to Whitehorse we waited to hear when the big meeting between Alberta and Yukon would be. Finally on September 2nd we got the call that we had been waiting for... they had agreed that we would adopt him!! We were told to start preparing for a toddler in our home! The paperwork would take a while longer since it was an inter-provincial adoption but they were hopeful that we would be able to go and pick him up sometime around October 1st.
I can't describe how excited we were. FINALLY after 7 years of praying for a child our dream was coming true. We started right away preparing his room and buying all the things necessary for an almost 2 year old. I would sit in his room and dream of all the things we would do with him... the places we would take him, the activities we would participate in. I couldn't wait to sit in his room and watch him sleep and to hear him call me mom. I bought a devotional book for children and couldn't wait to have family devotions and teach him about Christ. I had sooooo many dreams...
Unfortunately today our dreams were stripped away. We were waiting on one manager in Alberta to return from vacation to sign off on the papers and when she returned she decided that policy was not followed and put a stop to the adoption. We were hoping and praying that she would have a change of heart but no... today the final decision was made.
I'm so crushed that I honestly don't know how to deal with it... I can't describe to you the pain that is in my heart right now. I honestly feel as if we have had our son ripped from our arms. I just can't believe that after all these months, after all the things we had overcome we are ending HERE.. with my arms empty yet again. sigh...
I have a room now that is filled with all the things we had bought for him... his bed is made, toys are ready to be played with, clothes hanging in the closet. I haven't been able to go in there yet... I just can't imagine having to take it all down and return it all to the store. My dreams are locked in that room at the moment and I honestly don't want to let them go. I don't know when I will be able to... hopefully I get the strength soon.
So, this is what has been happening in our lives this last while. Several people have been asking what’s up... I thought I would let you know. Please pray for us and most importantly please pray for this little boy and that he will go to a GREAT adoptive home where he will be loved and where he will learn about Jesus. I pray that God will protect this child and give him the family he deserves to have.
Shannon
Since February we have been hoping on adopting a 1 year old boy from Alberta. I can't go into many details since this adoption was through Family Services and I must protect the child, but the short story is that the birth father put our names forward as the people he would like to adopt his son. Over the many months since February we have been on a roller coaster of good news and bad news... one moment thinking we would get him, the next thinking we wouldn't.
While we were away in Newfoundland we got a call from Alberta saying that we were chosen as the adoptive family for this child. We were ecstatic. Of course that didn't mean it would actually happen... there would have to be a meeting between the Yukon and Alberta and all the people involved would have to sign off.
While we were in Alberta at the end of August we were allowed to go and visit the foster family and meet our "son". He was so beautiful... I was in love! He was everything we had ever dreamed of. He looks so much like Jeff that I don't think anyone would ever believe that he was adopted! He is such a boy’s boy... rough and tumble. He loves trucks and I don't think there was a moment he didn't have one in his hand. We had a great time getting to know him and getting to know the foster family. Right away we all clicked... it all felt very right.
When we got back to Whitehorse we waited to hear when the big meeting between Alberta and Yukon would be. Finally on September 2nd we got the call that we had been waiting for... they had agreed that we would adopt him!! We were told to start preparing for a toddler in our home! The paperwork would take a while longer since it was an inter-provincial adoption but they were hopeful that we would be able to go and pick him up sometime around October 1st.
I can't describe how excited we were. FINALLY after 7 years of praying for a child our dream was coming true. We started right away preparing his room and buying all the things necessary for an almost 2 year old. I would sit in his room and dream of all the things we would do with him... the places we would take him, the activities we would participate in. I couldn't wait to sit in his room and watch him sleep and to hear him call me mom. I bought a devotional book for children and couldn't wait to have family devotions and teach him about Christ. I had sooooo many dreams...
Unfortunately today our dreams were stripped away. We were waiting on one manager in Alberta to return from vacation to sign off on the papers and when she returned she decided that policy was not followed and put a stop to the adoption. We were hoping and praying that she would have a change of heart but no... today the final decision was made.
I'm so crushed that I honestly don't know how to deal with it... I can't describe to you the pain that is in my heart right now. I honestly feel as if we have had our son ripped from our arms. I just can't believe that after all these months, after all the things we had overcome we are ending HERE.. with my arms empty yet again. sigh...
I have a room now that is filled with all the things we had bought for him... his bed is made, toys are ready to be played with, clothes hanging in the closet. I haven't been able to go in there yet... I just can't imagine having to take it all down and return it all to the store. My dreams are locked in that room at the moment and I honestly don't want to let them go. I don't know when I will be able to... hopefully I get the strength soon.
So, this is what has been happening in our lives this last while. Several people have been asking what’s up... I thought I would let you know. Please pray for us and most importantly please pray for this little boy and that he will go to a GREAT adoptive home where he will be loved and where he will learn about Jesus. I pray that God will protect this child and give him the family he deserves to have.
Shannon
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
We're back!
Just a short post to say I'm still here... We were away on holidays but we are back now. We had a great time in Newfoundland with my family. Steve, Christina and the kids were home for a week as well so it was great to get the whole family together. It was also great spending almost every day at Mom and Dad's cabin on the lake... what a life! After Newfoundland we headed to Alberta for Officers Camp and while there got to see friends we had left behind when we moved. We had a GREAT visit with everyone but we were glad to get back home to our own bed.
That's all I have time for now, hopefully I will get a chance to post sometime soon about some exciting things that have been happening... until then keep coming back to check for an update!
Shannon
That's all I have time for now, hopefully I will get a chance to post sometime soon about some exciting things that have been happening... until then keep coming back to check for an update!
Shannon
Friday, July 23, 2010
We're Paper Pregnant!
I've been waiting several years to use this term! Ever since we first thought about adoption I always grieved the fact that we would never get to be pregnant. Then one day on a forum a lady said that she was paper pregnant... I thought it was the greatest thing! I finally get to say that we're "pregnant"! We just don't know exactly how long the "pregnancy" will be! lol!
Just so you know, Paper Pregnant means that our homestudy is finally complete. The adoption coordinator signed off on it this week and we are officially on the list to adopt a child. That means that if any children become available our social worker will put our names forward and if our profile is a good match for the child we could potentially adopt him/her. It's pretty exciting!
The other good thing about having our homestudy complete is that now we can begin doing our own searching. We are going to send our profile to the doctors offices in town and are also hoping to get a web page of our profile so that people like YOU can refer potential birth moms to check us out. This will take a while of course, but it's exciting to know that we can start working on it! As soon as it's up and running I will be sure to post the link.
EXCITING!! :o)
Just so you know, Paper Pregnant means that our homestudy is finally complete. The adoption coordinator signed off on it this week and we are officially on the list to adopt a child. That means that if any children become available our social worker will put our names forward and if our profile is a good match for the child we could potentially adopt him/her. It's pretty exciting!
The other good thing about having our homestudy complete is that now we can begin doing our own searching. We are going to send our profile to the doctors offices in town and are also hoping to get a web page of our profile so that people like YOU can refer potential birth moms to check us out. This will take a while of course, but it's exciting to know that we can start working on it! As soon as it's up and running I will be sure to post the link.
EXCITING!! :o)
Monday, July 12, 2010
Heartbroken... again
I've said before that this adoption has been like a roller coaster... well the ride has unfortunately come to a stop. :o(
Jeff and I have decided, through much prayer, that as of now (unless something drastic changes) we will not be adopting Anesu. As you can imagine we are heartbroken over this decision and we definitely did not come to this conclusion lightly. We met with the adoption coordinator last week and after getting from her a couple pieces of bad news (to add to the other's we already knew) we decided the risk of things not working out, after pouring in LOTS of money, was just too great.
Jeff and I really want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and for helping us with money. It was such a blessing to see how many people are behind us and really want to see us complete our family.
Shannon
Jeff and I have decided, through much prayer, that as of now (unless something drastic changes) we will not be adopting Anesu. As you can imagine we are heartbroken over this decision and we definitely did not come to this conclusion lightly. We met with the adoption coordinator last week and after getting from her a couple pieces of bad news (to add to the other's we already knew) we decided the risk of things not working out, after pouring in LOTS of money, was just too great.
Jeff and I really want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and for helping us with money. It was such a blessing to see how many people are behind us and really want to see us complete our family.
Shannon
Saturday, July 3, 2010
We have a plan...
Well, what a journey adoption has been so far! Because this adoption is so out of the ordinary it's made it really difficult to get all the answers we needed. I have phoned what feels like a ton of people in Immigration, Service Canada, our local government and our Family Services to which I kept getting the same pat answer "It all sounds great.. what a nice thing your doing!" Well that doesn't help me people! lol!
Finally, through a friend of ours, we discovered that the plan we had in place would not work and that it was actually illegal. The illegal part being that we were bringing him to Canada with the intent to adopt and that I guess is not allowed. We finally decided we would go to a lawyer ourselves to get all the information we needed. We met with the lawyer, explained our situation and she promised she would find out the answers.
Well the next day we get a call from our Social Worker saying that the lawyer had contacted the Adoption Coordinator about the adoption (the lawyer was looking for information) which had brought our case to her attention. The Adoption Coordinator called our Social Worker to see why we were going through a lawyer when family services would be able to give us all the answers we needed and as well would help us get everything done!! I must say I was a little annoyed at the thought that we could have skipped a whole lot of time if, when we brought this to Family Services attention back in March, they had told us this.
But here we are, and however long it took to get the answers we needed we at least know now what the process has to be. So here it is...
Jeff and I will begin the paperwork to sponsor Anesu with the intent to adopt him once he is here in Canada. There is an actual process for this kind of adoption ( which no one told me about when I called immigration... grrrr). The sponsorship takes anywhere from 6-8 months OR up to two years. We are seriously hoping for the 6-8 month time frame. Once Anesu has been sponsored and has his permanent resident card his Aunt will fly over and bring him back here to us. Once he is here we will begin both the adoption process and the citizenship process. Not really sure how long those will take, but I don't really care since he will be here with us then.
The only glitch with this plan is whether Zimbabwe will agree to Anesu coming here to be adopted. They are a hard country to work with so please pray that whatever official makes the decision will have a softened heart.
Another slight problem is the fact that we will probably need to send our friend over to Zimbabwe twice. The first time, this summer, will be to fill out the necessary paperwork and the second time would be to bring him home to us. That puts another financial strain on us, so we are really praying that we can figure out a way to get the money together.
Well, I think that's all the update I have for now. Please keep praying that things work out!
Finally, through a friend of ours, we discovered that the plan we had in place would not work and that it was actually illegal. The illegal part being that we were bringing him to Canada with the intent to adopt and that I guess is not allowed. We finally decided we would go to a lawyer ourselves to get all the information we needed. We met with the lawyer, explained our situation and she promised she would find out the answers.
Well the next day we get a call from our Social Worker saying that the lawyer had contacted the Adoption Coordinator about the adoption (the lawyer was looking for information) which had brought our case to her attention. The Adoption Coordinator called our Social Worker to see why we were going through a lawyer when family services would be able to give us all the answers we needed and as well would help us get everything done!! I must say I was a little annoyed at the thought that we could have skipped a whole lot of time if, when we brought this to Family Services attention back in March, they had told us this.
But here we are, and however long it took to get the answers we needed we at least know now what the process has to be. So here it is...
Jeff and I will begin the paperwork to sponsor Anesu with the intent to adopt him once he is here in Canada. There is an actual process for this kind of adoption ( which no one told me about when I called immigration... grrrr). The sponsorship takes anywhere from 6-8 months OR up to two years. We are seriously hoping for the 6-8 month time frame. Once Anesu has been sponsored and has his permanent resident card his Aunt will fly over and bring him back here to us. Once he is here we will begin both the adoption process and the citizenship process. Not really sure how long those will take, but I don't really care since he will be here with us then.
The only glitch with this plan is whether Zimbabwe will agree to Anesu coming here to be adopted. They are a hard country to work with so please pray that whatever official makes the decision will have a softened heart.
Another slight problem is the fact that we will probably need to send our friend over to Zimbabwe twice. The first time, this summer, will be to fill out the necessary paperwork and the second time would be to bring him home to us. That puts another financial strain on us, so we are really praying that we can figure out a way to get the money together.
Well, I think that's all the update I have for now. Please keep praying that things work out!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
We're Adopting!
We are so excited to announce that we will be adopting a 3 year old little boy from Zimbabwe! :o) His full name when we adopt him will be Anesu Matthew. Anesu means "God with us" and Matthew (the name Jeff and I have chosen for him) means "Gift from God" I think it is a very fitting name! Anesu will hopefully be coming to Canada in mid-July. It has been a whirlwind past couple months but I'm sure it is nothing in comparison to what it will be like with a toddler in our home! lol! Let me give you a little taste of what's been happening...
On March 31st I woke up to find an e-mail in my facebook inbox from a friend of ours who we went to Bible College with in Winnipeg. Busi was an international student from Africa. She had written the e-mail to several friends saying that she had many losses in her family and due to those tragedies was now the legal guardian of 8 kids in total. She went on to say that she had been praying about how to care for these kids, since she was in school doing her masters and so finally made the decision to place 3 of them for adoption.
As I continued to read I believe my heart stopped...
"The youngest from my sister who passed away last year is Anesu a normal 2 year old full of life and so so cute."
As I read that sentence my mind began to spin. Could this be our child? I went immediately to Jeff to see what he thought; should I write her back or not? he said go for it. And so I wrote her saying that we were in the middle of our homestudy and we would be willing to start praying for little Anesu and whether we should be his parents.
Later that day I had a reply that she would call me that night. I was so anxious to get that phone call. Would she want us to be his parents? And if so, what were we getting into! Where was he living... in Africa or in Winnipeg? Was he healthy? I had so many thoughts flying around in my head.
When the phone rang that evening I think I was a little more calm and maybe more "realistic" about the whole thing. I kept thinking that maybe some other people had responded to her e-mail and she wouldn't choose us anyways. But as we talked I realised that she was seriously thinking of placing him with us if we felt God leading us that way. I asked her to send a picture so that we could put a face with the name. We talked a little about the details... Anesu was in Zimbabwe living with her brother. His mother passed away last year and his father has never been in the picture.
We only talked for a few minutes but she promised she would send some pictures and would get her sister in Zimbabwe to find out how an adoption would work. We were hoping that it wouldn't be too complicated since Busi is the legal guardian and lives here in Canada. The hope was that she would be able to go over to Zimbabwe and get Anesu and then bring him back to Whitehorse. That way we can be looking after him while the adoption goes through (which can take a long time).
Later that evening she sent a picture of Anesu... I was in LOVE! He was so gorgeous.
Over the next couple months we talked almost every week. Busi was making so any phone calls and talking to proffesionals trying to figure out all the logistics. I felt so bad that she was doing all the work. Unfortunately because we live in the north our resources are limited. We don't even have an adoption agency here (there is only social services... who we did our homestudy with). Nothing would have happened if it wasn't for Busi's dedication. Every time I got off the phone with her I would thank God for what she was doing for us.
And so here we are with enough of the pieces together that we feel we can FINALLY let people know. Right now the plan is that Busi will leave for Zimbabwe the end of June. While there she will get all the paperwork done that is needed to get him to Canada. Hopefully that won't take too long (we are hoping between 2-3 weeks) and then she will fly him back here to Whitehorse. She will spend a few days with us as we get him adjusted and then fly home to Winnipeg. Over the next couple years we will work on getting him his citizenship and then legally adopt him.
Unfortunately, like everything in life, this all costs money... LOTS of money. We figure we are looking at $8,000-$9,000 for the whole thing. To some people that would seem like pocket change I'm sure, but for Jeff and I it seems pretty large. We don't want to go into debt because it will take FOREVER for us to pay off that kind of money and as well we don't want to start off our life with a child with a huge debt hanging over our heads. So, if you know of any way that we can raise some money to help bring Anesu home please let me know.
It's been such a weird feeling to think that we are going to be parents to this beautiful little boy in the pictures. Every time I look at him I feel like I'm dreaming. Is it really possible that God will give us such a gift? That he will entrust Anesu's happiness and well-being to us? And even more important trust us to raise him to love Christ? It just amazes me!
You know I feel sort of like I'm pregnant. I have all the anticipation of being a mom but still a little of the anxiety that it may not happen. Because this adoption is a little abnormal there is a chance that we may run into legal and immigration problems. My heartbreak from the past 6 years of riding the infertility rollarcoaster has made me very sceptical of anything good happening to us and I find myself wanting to hold back from telling people about Anesu because maybe it isn't going to happen... but I feel like God is telling me to trust. So it really is like being pregnant... you spend 9 months planning for the future, decorating a room, buying all the items you need but there is still a chance that something may happen and that child may never get to come home with you. Well I've decided that we will plan for the future, decorate a bedroom and buy all the items we will need and pray like all parents that we will get to bring our child home.
So you know what the best part is? No matter what happens God is in control. That has given me so much peace these last couple months. Even if the worse happens and we can't get our son I know that he is in God's hands and that in the end it will be okay. Would I be heartbroken? Of course... he's already my child. But God is so amazing that I know it would be okay. That peace can come from no one else... how awesome is that! :o)
Well I'm going to sign off... there is so much going on in my head right now that I just can't get it all written out. Hopefully over the next month and a half I will have time to tell more of the details and to explain my feelings as we prepare to become parents to a toddler. All I ask right now, as always, is for your prayers that everything will fall into place and we will have Anesu Matthew here with us very soon!
Shannon
On March 31st I woke up to find an e-mail in my facebook inbox from a friend of ours who we went to Bible College with in Winnipeg. Busi was an international student from Africa. She had written the e-mail to several friends saying that she had many losses in her family and due to those tragedies was now the legal guardian of 8 kids in total. She went on to say that she had been praying about how to care for these kids, since she was in school doing her masters and so finally made the decision to place 3 of them for adoption.
As I continued to read I believe my heart stopped...
"The youngest from my sister who passed away last year is Anesu a normal 2 year old full of life and so so cute."
As I read that sentence my mind began to spin. Could this be our child? I went immediately to Jeff to see what he thought; should I write her back or not? he said go for it. And so I wrote her saying that we were in the middle of our homestudy and we would be willing to start praying for little Anesu and whether we should be his parents.
Later that day I had a reply that she would call me that night. I was so anxious to get that phone call. Would she want us to be his parents? And if so, what were we getting into! Where was he living... in Africa or in Winnipeg? Was he healthy? I had so many thoughts flying around in my head.
When the phone rang that evening I think I was a little more calm and maybe more "realistic" about the whole thing. I kept thinking that maybe some other people had responded to her e-mail and she wouldn't choose us anyways. But as we talked I realised that she was seriously thinking of placing him with us if we felt God leading us that way. I asked her to send a picture so that we could put a face with the name. We talked a little about the details... Anesu was in Zimbabwe living with her brother. His mother passed away last year and his father has never been in the picture.
We only talked for a few minutes but she promised she would send some pictures and would get her sister in Zimbabwe to find out how an adoption would work. We were hoping that it wouldn't be too complicated since Busi is the legal guardian and lives here in Canada. The hope was that she would be able to go over to Zimbabwe and get Anesu and then bring him back to Whitehorse. That way we can be looking after him while the adoption goes through (which can take a long time).
Later that evening she sent a picture of Anesu... I was in LOVE! He was so gorgeous.
Over the next couple months we talked almost every week. Busi was making so any phone calls and talking to proffesionals trying to figure out all the logistics. I felt so bad that she was doing all the work. Unfortunately because we live in the north our resources are limited. We don't even have an adoption agency here (there is only social services... who we did our homestudy with). Nothing would have happened if it wasn't for Busi's dedication. Every time I got off the phone with her I would thank God for what she was doing for us.
And so here we are with enough of the pieces together that we feel we can FINALLY let people know. Right now the plan is that Busi will leave for Zimbabwe the end of June. While there she will get all the paperwork done that is needed to get him to Canada. Hopefully that won't take too long (we are hoping between 2-3 weeks) and then she will fly him back here to Whitehorse. She will spend a few days with us as we get him adjusted and then fly home to Winnipeg. Over the next couple years we will work on getting him his citizenship and then legally adopt him.
Unfortunately, like everything in life, this all costs money... LOTS of money. We figure we are looking at $8,000-$9,000 for the whole thing. To some people that would seem like pocket change I'm sure, but for Jeff and I it seems pretty large. We don't want to go into debt because it will take FOREVER for us to pay off that kind of money and as well we don't want to start off our life with a child with a huge debt hanging over our heads. So, if you know of any way that we can raise some money to help bring Anesu home please let me know.
It's been such a weird feeling to think that we are going to be parents to this beautiful little boy in the pictures. Every time I look at him I feel like I'm dreaming. Is it really possible that God will give us such a gift? That he will entrust Anesu's happiness and well-being to us? And even more important trust us to raise him to love Christ? It just amazes me!
You know I feel sort of like I'm pregnant. I have all the anticipation of being a mom but still a little of the anxiety that it may not happen. Because this adoption is a little abnormal there is a chance that we may run into legal and immigration problems. My heartbreak from the past 6 years of riding the infertility rollarcoaster has made me very sceptical of anything good happening to us and I find myself wanting to hold back from telling people about Anesu because maybe it isn't going to happen... but I feel like God is telling me to trust. So it really is like being pregnant... you spend 9 months planning for the future, decorating a room, buying all the items you need but there is still a chance that something may happen and that child may never get to come home with you. Well I've decided that we will plan for the future, decorate a bedroom and buy all the items we will need and pray like all parents that we will get to bring our child home.
So you know what the best part is? No matter what happens God is in control. That has given me so much peace these last couple months. Even if the worse happens and we can't get our son I know that he is in God's hands and that in the end it will be okay. Would I be heartbroken? Of course... he's already my child. But God is so amazing that I know it would be okay. That peace can come from no one else... how awesome is that! :o)
Well I'm going to sign off... there is so much going on in my head right now that I just can't get it all written out. Hopefully over the next month and a half I will have time to tell more of the details and to explain my feelings as we prepare to become parents to a toddler. All I ask right now, as always, is for your prayers that everything will fall into place and we will have Anesu Matthew here with us very soon!
Shannon
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Walk for Life
I did a speech today for Whitehorse's "Walk for Life". Thought maybe I should add it to the blog...
In 1969 a decision was made that has affected millions of lives. It was this year that Abortion became legal in Canada. Since that date millions of healthy, human beings have been lost at the hands of doctors in the name of “women’s rights” In 2005, the latest year on record, 96,815 abortions were performed on Canadian women. Since 1969 in Canada there have been just over 3 million abortions.
But so what? Those are just numbers… statistics. People would have you think that each of those numbers just represents a clump of cells, a non-living being… but I am here today to tell you that each of those numbers represents a life… a life that was never given the chance to see the light of day. Never given the chance to feel the love of a mothers embrace. Never given the chance to grow up and become all that they could have been. Each of those numbers represents a person, a soul that belonged to God and was loved by God.
Psalm 139 says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
God has a plan even for the unborn child. He loves them, knows them, and cares for them. The biggest argument around abortion is whether a child in the womb is a person or not. We know from scripture that God believes he is. If you have ever seen an ultrasound of a tiny baby you will know that it is not just a clump of cells… it is a perfect, though somewhat alien looking, human being. Did you know that at 5 weeks the heart begins to beat? By 9 weeks fingerprints are already developed and a child is able to grasp and flex. By 11 weeks nearly all structures and organs are formed and beginning to function. So do you know of any other non-living thing has a heartbeat, arms, legs, eyes, muscles and essentially everything we as adults have? I know I don’t.
So we have all of this information… so what? To a pregnant woman who has found herself in a situation that may seem hopeless what does she do? It is easy for us to say don’t have an abortion, but in her shoes, what options does she have?
Well there are two options. Maybe she stays pregnant, gives birth to a beautiful baby and decides keep her child and raise them and love them and care for them. Or maybe she decides that she can’t give them the life she feels they deserve and so she places them for adoption. Both of these options are scary… they are not easy paths. And we have to understand that.
But Abortion isn’t easy either. Abortion may seem to some people to be the easy way out of a difficult situation, but it isn’t. Not only is it destroying and can I be so bold as to say murdering a human being, but there are risks to the women’s health as well. There are short term health risks, like bleeding and infection, long term risks like infertility and breast cancer, and as well risks for future pregnancy’s including premature births and ectopic pregnancy’s. But I think more than the physical risks, there are great psychological risks. Women who have had abortions are at a greater risk of suffering from anxiety, depression, drug-use, post-traumatic stress disorder just to name a few.
You know, it’s unfortunate that no matter what, a woman with an unwanted pregnancy will have to live with pain, in whatever form either physically or emotionally, no matter the choice she makes. It will not be an easy journey I am sure.
Now you may say, what do I know about the pain? I’ve never been in her shoes. I have never experienced an unwanted pregnancy. But I do know pain, because I have never experienced a WANTED pregnancy. My husband and I have tried for 6 years to start a family with no success. So I may not know the pain and suffering a woman who is considering abortion is going through. But I do know the pain of not being able to carry a child. And something else I know is that, that child is wanted and if not by the birth mom, then by someone else. There are thousands of people out there who would love that child. People like my husband and I who have gone through countless hours of paper work, courses and interviews so that we would be able and equipped to adopt a child.
Everyday that I hear of another Mom who has chosen to abort her baby I cry. I cry at the thought of that perfect child, helpless, without rights whose heart use to beat that didn’t know what was coming; a child that was brought into this world by no fault of their own. I cry when I think of the mom that will have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. I cry for the fathers that may not have wanted the child to be aborted, fathers who also have no rights when it comes to abortion. And, selfishly maybe, I think of people like us, who would do anything to have that child in our wombs, to protect them to love them and care for them.
I pray today that if you are pregnant and you are considering having an abortion please, just think about it a little longer. Do your research. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t go into such a life changing, a life ending decision without knowing all the facts.
And maybe today there is someone who has had an abortion. Maybe you are regretting that decision. Please know you are loved! God loves you, and we love you in Christ. And there is help out there for you. You will see on the signs today a number that you can call and receive guidance and help. As well, if you have a pastor feel free to talk with them. But the important thing is to talk to someone… find the emotional help you need.
I hope today that all of us here will understand the pain that is involved with abortions. That abortion is not a solution, but that the women who are faced with it may need our help, guidance and love. I pray that people will see, that Canada will see, that these tiny perfect lives are people who need protecting. Thank-you!
In 1969 a decision was made that has affected millions of lives. It was this year that Abortion became legal in Canada. Since that date millions of healthy, human beings have been lost at the hands of doctors in the name of “women’s rights” In 2005, the latest year on record, 96,815 abortions were performed on Canadian women. Since 1969 in Canada there have been just over 3 million abortions.
But so what? Those are just numbers… statistics. People would have you think that each of those numbers just represents a clump of cells, a non-living being… but I am here today to tell you that each of those numbers represents a life… a life that was never given the chance to see the light of day. Never given the chance to feel the love of a mothers embrace. Never given the chance to grow up and become all that they could have been. Each of those numbers represents a person, a soul that belonged to God and was loved by God.
Psalm 139 says “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
God has a plan even for the unborn child. He loves them, knows them, and cares for them. The biggest argument around abortion is whether a child in the womb is a person or not. We know from scripture that God believes he is. If you have ever seen an ultrasound of a tiny baby you will know that it is not just a clump of cells… it is a perfect, though somewhat alien looking, human being. Did you know that at 5 weeks the heart begins to beat? By 9 weeks fingerprints are already developed and a child is able to grasp and flex. By 11 weeks nearly all structures and organs are formed and beginning to function. So do you know of any other non-living thing has a heartbeat, arms, legs, eyes, muscles and essentially everything we as adults have? I know I don’t.
So we have all of this information… so what? To a pregnant woman who has found herself in a situation that may seem hopeless what does she do? It is easy for us to say don’t have an abortion, but in her shoes, what options does she have?
Well there are two options. Maybe she stays pregnant, gives birth to a beautiful baby and decides keep her child and raise them and love them and care for them. Or maybe she decides that she can’t give them the life she feels they deserve and so she places them for adoption. Both of these options are scary… they are not easy paths. And we have to understand that.
But Abortion isn’t easy either. Abortion may seem to some people to be the easy way out of a difficult situation, but it isn’t. Not only is it destroying and can I be so bold as to say murdering a human being, but there are risks to the women’s health as well. There are short term health risks, like bleeding and infection, long term risks like infertility and breast cancer, and as well risks for future pregnancy’s including premature births and ectopic pregnancy’s. But I think more than the physical risks, there are great psychological risks. Women who have had abortions are at a greater risk of suffering from anxiety, depression, drug-use, post-traumatic stress disorder just to name a few.
You know, it’s unfortunate that no matter what, a woman with an unwanted pregnancy will have to live with pain, in whatever form either physically or emotionally, no matter the choice she makes. It will not be an easy journey I am sure.
Now you may say, what do I know about the pain? I’ve never been in her shoes. I have never experienced an unwanted pregnancy. But I do know pain, because I have never experienced a WANTED pregnancy. My husband and I have tried for 6 years to start a family with no success. So I may not know the pain and suffering a woman who is considering abortion is going through. But I do know the pain of not being able to carry a child. And something else I know is that, that child is wanted and if not by the birth mom, then by someone else. There are thousands of people out there who would love that child. People like my husband and I who have gone through countless hours of paper work, courses and interviews so that we would be able and equipped to adopt a child.
Everyday that I hear of another Mom who has chosen to abort her baby I cry. I cry at the thought of that perfect child, helpless, without rights whose heart use to beat that didn’t know what was coming; a child that was brought into this world by no fault of their own. I cry when I think of the mom that will have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. I cry for the fathers that may not have wanted the child to be aborted, fathers who also have no rights when it comes to abortion. And, selfishly maybe, I think of people like us, who would do anything to have that child in our wombs, to protect them to love them and care for them.
I pray today that if you are pregnant and you are considering having an abortion please, just think about it a little longer. Do your research. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t go into such a life changing, a life ending decision without knowing all the facts.
And maybe today there is someone who has had an abortion. Maybe you are regretting that decision. Please know you are loved! God loves you, and we love you in Christ. And there is help out there for you. You will see on the signs today a number that you can call and receive guidance and help. As well, if you have a pastor feel free to talk with them. But the important thing is to talk to someone… find the emotional help you need.
I hope today that all of us here will understand the pain that is involved with abortions. That abortion is not a solution, but that the women who are faced with it may need our help, guidance and love. I pray that people will see, that Canada will see, that these tiny perfect lives are people who need protecting. Thank-you!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
We are rounding the bend...
This week we had our 5th homestudy meeting and were told that next Monday should be our last one! YAY! We've only been meeting for 2 months so we were quite shocked to hear that we were almost done considering we were told in the beginning that it could take 4-6 months. We are that much closer to bringing our child home! :o) I'm Happy!
As well, Jeff had his X-ray today and we will find out the results by early next week. He is doing really well and is now able to walk with just one crutch. I can't believe how fast the time has gone (although he may disagree!). It will be nice to have him back at the office. I hate not having him around... I'm use to spending most of everyday with him!
God is good!
As well, Jeff had his X-ray today and we will find out the results by early next week. He is doing really well and is now able to walk with just one crutch. I can't believe how fast the time has gone (although he may disagree!). It will be nice to have him back at the office. I hate not having him around... I'm use to spending most of everyday with him!
God is good!
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